Family
by Whatever666
Summary: A bunch of Family Akatsuki oneshots. First: What made Deidara stay in Akatsuki? Second: Christmas time was always frantic.
1. Something Like Family

Disclaimer: Deidara, or any of the Akatsuki do not belong to me. Kaori's name and personality belong to me, but not his body.

Note: Kaori is the unnamed member, with the blue hair and the flower in his hair.

**This isn't the best, but I sort-of like it.**

------------

When he was first asked what made him go into the Akatsuki, Deidara said "Power, un." But when he was asked what made him stay, he didn't say anything, instead killing the annoying prisoner who was asking him questions.

The truth was, while it was power that got him to come, it was the people that made him stay.

It was the way they all wanted to take over the world with him. It was the way he could burst into evil laughter without getting strange looks, and say "I'm talking to my hormones, un," with only a passing glance. It was the way they all hated the moon, Konoha and their villages; and it was the way they were completely insane.

But mostly, it was the way they cared for him like no one else did. When Deidara was nearly killed after a battle, and in critical condition, Hidan prayed for just a bit longer than he used to. Kakuzu spared no expenses in medical care for him. Kaori tried to concentrate long enough to hold a conversation, and hummed Deidara's favorite song for him.

Sasori actually held a conversation with him, without insulting him (much). Tobi placed flowers and gushed over his wounds until Deidara's head hurt. Kisame would sneak him in junk food and video games (which he was strictly forbidden when hurt). Itachi let Deidara talk at him, and sort-of smiled at him.

Zetsu would tell him stories that made him laugh; Leader read a book to him to pass his days. And Orochimaru, before he left, used to make up a completely insane conspiracy theory that made them both laugh.

And so, while Deidara wouldn't die for them or anything, they were the closest thing to family he had.


	2. Christmas

**A/N: Wrote this coz apparently people liked the first part, and I was filled with Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas, guys, and thanks for reviewing/favoriting/everything!**

---

Christmas time was always frantic. They'd be in Otogakure, since Orochi**insisted** on letting his village celebrate with them. Also, he blackmailed them.

Tobi would be singing Christmas carols at the top of his voice, giving everyone migraines.

Kakuzu would be freaking out, screaming how much all of this had cost him, and dammit, Deidara, YOU'RE RUINING THE LIGHTS!

Hidan would be screaming how Christmas was a heathen holiday, and they'd all burn in hell for celebrating it.

Sasori would be screaming at Orochimaru to turn the damn camera off, while Orochimaru would be screaming how he had a damn right to keep Cammy the Camera on, it was HIS camera, dammit.

Itachi and Kisame would be trying to sneak up to the oven, and bake something. Kakuzu was guarding it though, screeching at them "REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU BAKED?!?! WELL, WE CAN'T censored AFFORD TO FEED ANOTHER censored MOUTH!"

Zetsu would be running around, hysterical, since everyone asked him to wrap their presents, and, well…Let's just say evil villains were either VERY unorganized…

Or they had VERY good hiding places. With booby traps. Lots, and lots, of traps.

Konan would be outside, since Orochimaru asked her to supervise his 'village', AKA, the village which consisted of 100 percent insane people, 50 percent hormonal teenagers, 40 percent little kids and 10 percent grown adults. Needless to say, the village of –SOUND- was living up to its name. And giving Konan a migraine.

And Pain? Well, Pain being the Leader, he had to calm down the hellhole he called 'home'. Thus, he was screaming quite a lot. And screaming. And screaming. And screaming.

But, after Christmas Dinner, everyone just…shut up. Orochimaru would tour his entire village, telling them all Merry Christmas and claiming his presents ("Well, I gave them all a present, I should get one back!" he justified), and when he came back, he was all happy for once. Hidan and Kakuzu would calm down, for once. Itachi, Kisame and Tobi would just shut up (except Itachi, who was always quiet). Deidara and Sasori would play nice, and wish people Merry Christmas, smiling in a semi-disturbing way. Zetsu would be soothed from his trauma, and thanked for his hard work (or else he'd go all psycho on them and kill them all). Konan and Pain would stop screaming at people to stop screaming. And they'd all just enjoy the magic of the Holiday.

They liked Christmas back in their own villages, of course. And they missed them.

But they like Christmas at Akatsuki even better. Despite all the screaming and migraines.

Besides, when you signed up, you were agreeing for screaming and migraines. It was in the small print.


End file.
